It’s not a secret anymore that fact that Selena Gomez (24) has been struggling with anxiety and depression. She has recently opened up about her personal life in an interview for Vogue America and to be honest it was the most personal and real interview by her that I have ever written.
When people think of Selena Gomez (or a celebrity in general) they think that they are happy because they have money, fame, a house, a perfect boyfriend/ girlfriend, but in reality they are far from being happy.
What people really think when they hear about the most followed person on the social media platform? With 110 million followers on her Instagram, Selena Gomez still feels the pressure of mass media and she felt more vulnerable than ever not long time ago when she broke down and had to cancel her Revival Tour and checked into rehab.
I am impressed by her courage to reveal this vulnerable side of her and the fact that she was honest about her hard times. She said wise words in her interview for April 2017 Issue of Vogue : “I wish more people would talk about therapy. We girls, we’re taught to be almost too resilient, to be strong and sexy and cool and laid-back, the girl who’s down. We also need to feel allowed to fall apart.”
I was about to buy a ticket for one of her concerts and then she canceled the tour and I remember being so pissed off and angry at her but now I understand her actions and how she felt back then. Selena felt the pressure of impressing a more grown-up crowd and she felt like she is not good enough to do that which led to depression and anxiety. The singer confessed that she used to have panic attacks before and after a show and she felt very lonely during tours: “Tours are a really lonely place for me. My self-esteem was shot. I was depressed, anxious.”
“I’ve cried on stage more times than I can count, and I’m not a cute crier.”
She explained during the interview how she couldn’t relate and recognize her fans because she wasn’t allowing herself to face her own issues: “I felt I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t capable. I felt I wasn’t giving my fans anything, and they could see it—which, I think, was a complete distortion. I was so used to performing for kids. At concerts I used to make the entire crowd raise up their pinkies and make a pinky promise never to allow anybody to make them feel that they weren’t good enough. Suddenly I have kids smoking and drinking at my shows, people in their 20s, 30s, and I’m looking into their eyes, and I don’t know what to say. I couldn’t say, ‘Everybody, let’s pinky-promise that you’re beautiful!’ It doesn’t work that way, and I know it because I’m dealing with the same shit they’re dealing with. What I wanted to say is that life is so stressful, and I get the desire to just escape it. But I wasn’t figuring my own stuff out, so I felt I had no wisdom to share. And so maybe I thought everybody out there was thinking, This is a waste of time.”
Selena should have seen this coming becase we grew up with her and her career. Her music changed, her personality changed. She couldn’t expect to see only kids attending her tours until the end and the fact that she was dealing with depression during that time made her more confused.
She opened up about the transition from Disney to the real world and the criticism she received: “I worked with Disney for four years. It’s a very controlled machine. I did respect my fans and what I had, but I was also figuring out what I was passionate about and how far I was willing to go.”
Spring Breakers, a film about college girls, sex and drugs was the first movie in which she played after leaving Disney and that was a courageous move. She wanted the world to see her as a rather grown up person than a young girl dealing with mass-media and people watching and judging every step of hers.
After “Selena after Spring Breakers” era, Gomez was on every social media platform and tabloid or at least her personal life was. Everyone knew about her break ups (especially the Justin Bieber one), her friendships and her holidays, and maybe that was her fault too (without realizing).
After canceling Revival Tour, Selena decided to go to rehab and to take a break from the spotlight and after more than three months of absence she made her appearance as a changed woman at the American Music Awards 2016 where she gave an emotional speech showing everyone that she is not the same person.
Selena has no movies or new music coming out, basically her life is not planned out as it used to be. She is not under pressure anymore and we are waiting for new projects when she will be ready to do something.
The singer doesn’t have the Instagram app on her phone anymore, she doesn’t even have the password to her account (her assistant is managing it) and she explained why: “As soon as I became the most followed person on Instagram, I sort of freaked out. It had become so consuming to me. It’s what I woke up to and went to sleep to. I was an addict, and it felt like I was seeing things I didn’t want to see, like it was putting things in my head that I didn’t want to care about. I always end up feeling like shit when I look at Instagram.”
It was no doubt that she was going to be asked about her boyfriend, Abel Tesfaye (The Weeknd), especially after the social media storm. Selena gave a mature answer regarding the relationship, she doesn’t want to say anything about it because she did that in the past and every thing came back to bite her.
Selena is not fully happy yet but she wants to forget about social media, mass media and this fake world which changed her life completely.
“I think seventeen people have my phone number right now. Maybe two are famous.”
“Look, I love what I do, and I’m aware of how lucky I am, but—how can I say this without sounding weird? I just really can’t wait for people to forget about me.”
The only new thing the world knows now about her is that she is an executive producer for the Netflix series ‘13 Reasons Why’. Miniseries adapted after a book which present issues about teen suicide and social media pressures, several issues dear to her. Selena explained to Jay Asher (the writer of the novel) the fact that she feels like she connects with the book.